17

i was only 17 and yet i understood

that all the wheels turned because of you.

i was crying to "blood bank" and holding your hand.

we were stuck in this bus as it rained

and i thought to myself

everything revolves around you. it'll be the first and last time everything will. 

i knew i was heart broken before it even happened

because we weren't meant for each other at 17

or 20

or 23

or 45.

i'll see you in photos, i'll see you when i sleep

i'll see you when i feed the birds, i'll see you when the song plays

but never again in the flesh.

i'm not sad anymore.

i'm happy when i think about the day we got in trouble

lying on that torn up couch in a back room of the school.

we lied there staring out the glass walls and doors

turkish countryside waving hello to us through the window.

if i told you come outside, would you?

come outside.

we don't have to go back inside

we don't have to go back inside

we don't have to go back