a memoir: to ramadan and all the guys who suddenly become sheikhs during the holy month / by Dahlia Dandashi

vice recently posted an article about ramadan and highlighted the term "ramadan bros," a concept and phenomenon i am very familiar with. the article is freaking hilarious, and has inspired me to write my own experiences and interpretation of the ramadan bro. here, hussein explains the stereotypical r.b.:

"Hassan usually sells weed and MD, but for this month he'll become a Ramadan Bro – the type of guy who'll read one passage from the Qu'ran and then spend all night telling you about it, as if he's suddenly an oracle of all things Islam." 

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i know too many guys who all of a sudden become sheikhs during ramadan and have tried to lecture me on it. "oh, you're not fasting this year? you really should." or "i'm flying back home to fast with my family. i can't wait to eat my mom's food! why aren't you going home??" or, "you're wearing that? it's ramadan??? THE HOLY MONTH" or "you're fasting?! well you shouldn't do this, or this or this!!!" [please note: i'm not saying girls don't do the same thing, i'm just saying i've only encountered men specifically that criticize me.]

i have no problem with people who don't fast or do fast. this is a personal choice that no one should be questioned or criticized for.

however, some do decide to criticize others for their personal choices while they're standing there holding a gold medal in the "biggest hypocrite" category. this has happened to me more than once, irking me to unfortunately realize that some don't see the hilarity in their hypocrisy. allow me to help you see the irony in your comments. 

you're out getting shwasty pants the day before ramadan, fuckin' bitches and getting money @ da club while mama and baba think you're actually a goodie two shoes that has never touched a girl in your life. then, you choose to lecture me before heading on a flight home so mom can make you some food while you sleep until 4pm because me going out with my friends at night or wearing a certain styled dress or not fasting is "haram."

the thing is, your parents don't even know what you did the night before ramadan. or on most nights, actually. you were out, getting drunk and kissing on some girls you met out while feverishly multitasking texts to a girl you're trying to get in your bed and texts to your parents saying you're home packing. 

but yeah, it's still "haram" that i'm not fasting, or the way i'm fasting is "wrong" in your very, very valid opinion. 

i am nowhere near a sheikh, or an arab styled mother teresa by any means whatsoever-- but i'm happy to say i don't lie to myself. i'm not mother teresa and i never will be!! i'm worried about myself and my actions only, as you should be too. 

for me, ramadan has formed to become a time of reflection. it's important to write, read, sit outside, breathe air, and try to enhance spirituality. my fasting may not be your fasting, but that shouldn't be a problem-- there should be no criticism. ramadan should be a time of cleansing for whomever chooses to embrace the month, with the term holding a subjective meaning to each person. 

furthermore, i don't appreciate being lectured about how or what i dress in during these 30 days because i'm a woman. if i wanna wear a skirt cause it's over 50 degrees in texas, guess what, i'm going to do it. if it was any other month, i'm sure you wouldn't say anything about what i decide to put on in the morning. if i don't wear shorts, YOU DON'T GET TO WEAR SHORTS EITHER. any other time of the year, you'd be wishing my skirt was shorter. 

so to all my ramadan bros, i'm waving hi to you from my computer because i hope you remember the times you tried to give me "advice." i hope you're at home right now, nesting in the silk bedsheets of your room, excited for the beer you're going to sneak after you give me a lecture and head out post iftar dinner. i hope the second you fly back to wherever you live, you'll go buy some handles and invite over some girls. cause after 30 days, ramadan is over and it's eid, right? you can go back to doing the things that were "haram" for a month but aren't so "haram" the first day of eid. 

to all those fasting, or even those not fasting, take these days as a time to do your best in all you do. to remember what's important to you. to read the quran, the bible, or even a non-holy book that you really enjoy. be thankful for what you have, pray to whatever you believe in and in whichever manner your choose, and push anyone that has brought negativity to your soul away from you. 

ramaden kareem to everyone i love!

 

here is the vice link: https://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/all-the-shit-youll-have-to-deal-with-this-ramadan